History repeating

My stepdad, Jerry made it through his 3rd surgery in 3 months ok yesterday. It started with the removal of his larynx (Voicebox) last year due to Laryngeal cancer. He had the surgery post chemo and radiation and his neck skin and tissues were very weak. Shortly after, he developed a very nasty infection in his throat. The funny thing about infections deep inside is that the body will find a way to get it out. Two fistulas (Tunnels) ending with holes formed in his throat. So now on top of the permanent ostomy hole he has for breathing (Laryngectomee's often have to have a tracheostomy permanently) he also had 2 extra holes that his body created to drain the infection. Well, fast forward through several idiot doctors and minor applications to deter the infection, Jerry,yesterday had a hopefully final closing of the fistula holes by using skin and muscle grafts from his chin and chest. Mom reported from Dallas earlier today that he's resting well on Morphine and still up on the unit. She's staying her second night tonight.
I think this situation has brought to light why this past year has been a little harder for me then some of the others. I talk to Mom on average every other day. I hear the same things I was saying and feeling 5 years ago. "I can't stand to see him in this much pain","I'm not sure I can go through another surgery with him"," I dread going back to the hospital", "What do I do when I bring him home, How will I take care of him and work?", "When will he be better", "When will this end?"

They say history repeats itself. I hope for Mom's sake and Jerry's it doesn't for them. It is just all too familiar for me.