The Art of Grieving
"There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. "
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. "
My late husband Mike died five years ago today.
Of all the anniversaries,this one's the hardest.
There's something about the smell of the September air, the Back to school/Labor day advertising, the weather changing... that will bring me right back to that horrible day I woke up and found him gone.
Five years ago he wasn't supposed to go that quickly....The doctors had said it would take about a year for those little metastatic tumors in his lungs to kill him. What the doctors didn't count on was the palliative Chemo killing him early. I think he had had enough too.
I believe your spirit and will to live can keep you going....Mike was tired of the pain. He had a bad reaction to the chemo and when it made it hard for him to swallow, eat, and drink....he just didn't try. I don't blame him for not.
It was almost like a gift from him...not to have to watch him suffer any longer.
In Five Years I went from unemployed to a college graduate and a member of a respected profession. I still wonder if I would have gone back to school if his loss hadn't of given me the opportunity, confidence, and the initiative.
Five years has actually made it harder for Ari. She understands more now, the older she gets. She understands how she stands out among her peers...having a Daddy in Heaven.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross lists the 5 stages of grieving as:
I went through all of these....several times in various orders. I did finely come to rest on acceptance.
I accept that he is gone. It doesn't make me miss him less. It doesn't make me less lonely. It doesn't make it easier....it just make the pain of his loss softer.
Time doesn't heal all wounds...just makes them more tolerable.